Windows Defender

What's there to joke about? >They're going to build it into Windows Vista. Which will be renamed Aladdin's Castle. Defender will in fact be a subset of the current antispyware tool, working in concert with other components broken out of the existing tool. These will include Windows Zaxxon, which will continually "fly above" data storage space, searching for such threats which may lay dormant on your drives, Windows Galaxian, which interdicts such rogue packets that may "swoop down" through network interface "space", and, of course, Windows Robotron, which will drift through operating memory and "blast" "hostile" processes. In addition, Microsoft intends to make a sweeping change to the current validation process currently in place for the convenience of it's customers, introducing a revolutionary approach to Digital Rights Management based on the concept of user-purchased "tokens." To ensure that no user need doubt that they are, in fact, behaving ethically, Microsoft will offer the opportunity for users to purchase tokens for each application launch, file creation, media access, and internet session. While each token can be used for only one task, users will be able to execute that task three times before the token expires, or, alternatively perform that task for a set period of time. Tokens can be purchased by the user either online or through a new peripheral device which will be available through authorized distributors. This device, the Microsoft Coin Slot, will give customers the chance to purchase five tokens for one US quarter. Microsoft is also considering the possibility of installing kiosks in urban retail environments, offering convenient access throughout the United States and Canada.

That was friggin' hilarious.

That was awesome. Major props.